


The Perils of Being Nice

by borgprincess



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 12:38:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4020031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borgprincess/pseuds/borgprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hermione has fun at Snape’s expense while they’re biding their time in a closet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Perils of Being Nice

**Author's Note:**

> (Challenge #87: Closeted)
> 
> Because I rather love the idea of Hermione being a pest and Snape being long-suffering, hee. ;)

“You’re actually a nice person, aren’t you?” Hermione said in the tones of one who has had an epiphany.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Snape said, frowning darkly, but that had lost the intimidation factor it once held when she was a student.

After all, teachers couldn’t take points from one another, no matter how serious the personality conflict. And considering he’d just promptly whisked her into a broom closet to avoid the oncoming tide of Stinksap that marked the release of the patented Weasley Portable Swamp, he couldn’t hate her that much.

Before today, if you had asked Hermione whether Snape would trouble himself to remove her from the path of a messy, destructive Weasley product, she would’ve had no doubt Snape would have left her there to be covered in the smelly deluge. But as she’d stood frozen in the middle of the corridor, watching the incoming mass of foul-smelling gunk rapidly spreading across the floor, he’d unexpectedly reached out to grab her and hustle her across to a broom closet she’d never even noticed, shutting the door just in time to keep them safely untouched as the swamp continued down the corridor.

They were now stuck in this broom closet until the swamp had a chance to solidify somewhat so that they wouldn’t be flooded with the icky, gooey substance the moment they opened the door.

“All right, so you’re not really _that_ nice, but you’re occasionally predisposed to do nice things.”

“There really is no need to keep nattering on in such an inane manner, Professor Granger.”

“Like pulling me into this closet out of the way of that bloody awful mess out there. I have to admit, my reflexes aren’t what they used to be during the war. I was about to cast a Vanishing spell, only I remembered just in time that it automatically triggers any Weasley invention to multiply tenfold. And so I was about to try another spell, only to recollect they included a nasty side-effect to that one, as well as several others. And I was so focused on the mental exercise that I completely forgot that I should actually _run_. This is what academic life has done to me!”

Snape sighed and leaned against the wall, pinching his nose tiredly. She thought he might’ve closed his eyes in frustration, but his curtain of black hair swung across his face and blocked her view.

“But as I was saying, it was- unexpectedly, really- nice of you to think of me as well.”

“You were in my way,” he said snidely. “It was push you along, or knock you over and trample over your body to get here.”

“Ah, but then we both know you didn’t need to seek out the safety of a closet to get away from that swamp,” she said in what seemed even to her to be an unnecessarily smug manner. Good heavens, was she enjoying needling Severus Snape? Then again, it was so rare for him to behave in any manner that wasn’t snide and unpleasant, and while she really ought to be reinforcing positive behavior from him, she couldn’t resist torturing him a little.

Maybe she missed bickering with Ron a little too much if she was resorting to sniping at Snape to make up for the lack of conflict in her life lately.

“You could’ve easily just- _flown up and way_ ,” she pointed out with accompanying hand gestures. “Since you have the power of flight unaided by a broom or any other apparatus.”

“Amazing how you have not grown out of your tendency to talk as though you are regurgitating a textbook,” he said snidely.

“In this case, it’s your press cuttings I’m quoting. There was a plethora of articles all extolling your virtues when it came out that you were a hero rather than villain.”

He snorted. She got the feeling he was actually rather offended by the appellation of ‘hero’. Then again, since it was given to Harry as well, she supposed it was not surprising he’d eschew such a description. Or perhaps it was the ‘virtuous’ part he found amusing. It did seem incongruous with his tall, dark and menacing image.

“I can just imagine how many more owls you’d get from love-struck fans if I gave an interview to the Daily Prophet about my personal encounter with your chivalrous nature,” she continued mischievously. (Yes, unlikely as it seemed, Snape wound up having to _Incendio_ numerous fan-letters on a weekly basis. She could only conclude they had either never had him as a teacher or must’ve experienced selective amnesia since their student days)

This finally cracked his stoic demeanor and he glowered darkly at her. “Granger, if you are remotely likely to do such a foolish thing, I will open this door and shove you face-first into that swamp out there to dispel any idiotic notions of my _chivalrous, heroic_ nature.”

She muffled a snicker and settled back into her corner. It was ever so much more satisfying being Snape’s colleague than his student. Perhaps she could come up with further pretexts to impose herself upon the man- she had a feeling baiting him was going to be her new favorite pastime.


End file.
